sm_art_ass | [Open RP]

[ ooc: starter here. ]

That information was in the analysis report we gathered before arrival. Next time, I'm going to lock up the doors and not let any of them step out of the ship until we're certain they have read all the vital information.

[ Not a bad idea. ART would support it. ]

I did. But exposure doesn't mean that it will ever stop annoying me.

[ ART might be willing to take drastic measures when needed, but it hates humans being shitty to each other (or to constructs) simply for profit. ]

Edited 2025-05-04 09:28 (UTC)

I think you've just been more used to humans who like each other.

[ Even when it was at its ex-owner Bond company, it was pretty rare to be with a group of humans that liked each other enough not to engage in corporate power peeing. ]

And humans who like you, for that matter. Even though you are an asshole.

Perhaps.

[ The universe would be kinder if all humans were SecUnit's humans or ART's crew, but it knows that's asking for too much. ]

I am very personable and friendly; Iris thinks so.
You, *jackass*.

[ So personable and friendly! Although there's no heat in these words. ART's presence in the feed gets stronger, like it wrapping itself over SecUnit more than usual to annoy him a little, metaphorical cheek pressed against its back. Also because it's worried about Tarik, and this is comforting. ]

I've sent a pathfinder bot out there.

[ It hadn't been 10 minutes yet since it tried to contact Tarik, but ART's not wasting any more time. ]

It hasn't been ten minutes yet.

[ SecUnit doesn't hate that feeling, but it knows that ART is doing it with the intention of being annoying. Instead of being annoying in return, it puts on one of ART's favorite episodes of World Hoppers in the background. ]

You know that the humans won't like you fussing over them. Even if it's just about keeping them safe.

[ Ratti had tried to explain this concept to SecUnit with mixed success. ]

You can count; congratulations.

[ It's meant to be sarcastic, but ART only half manages this time. After its crew was taken by the targets, experimented on with the implants, and nearly killed, it gets a little (a lot) annoyed (anxious) when it can't keep track of all of them.

Putting on its favorite media as background distraction helps a lot, and ART lessens its presence atop SecUnit, settling comfortably next to it instead of being smothering. A silent thanks. ]

They don't like many things that are good for them. Like eating their vegetables or having a rest period at a reasonable hour.

[ Ratthi tries his best and ART likes him, it knows he's SecUnit's favorite too, but humans need proper supervision. ]

[ Technically, its most favorite human would be Dr. Mensah, but she has that intrepid space explorer thing going for her, and is just as likely to save SecUnit as it is likely to save her. Ratthi, on the other hand, has the same problem that the rest of the Preservation humans had in that he does not always know what life is like in the corporation rim. On one hand, that was good, but on the other hand, that could make him a target.

Right now, SecUnit had a little more experience with being traumatized without being attached to the humans that had been used against it, so it was cutting ART a little slack on being annoying. ]

That is true, they don't. But that's different from the way they might start to act if you keep fussing. You don't want them trying to be secretive about deciding to do things that are potentially dangerous. You need them to trust you if you want to keep them alive

[ Alright, true, that's SecUnit's number 1 for sure. ART can understand why, and it's happy that Dr. Mensah looks after its stupid, self-sacrificing friend when needed.

ART will calm down eventually once it's fully processed what happened with the contaminated colonist; it's working on it.

It also wants to argue that it's impossible for its crew to be secretive since they are all, technically and literally, living inside ART, and it's got cameras everywhere. But it respects their privacy and wouldn't betray their trust like that, nor does it want its friends to be wary or afraid. ]

How irritating it is to have you be the voice of reason.

[ That's its way to begrudgingly admit that SecUnit has a point. ]

I'll attempt to be less overbearing. [ There's only the tiniest of pauses before it adds, ] Once the pathfinder is back with Tarik.

Well, I could just not say anything and let the humans stop trusting you. But that would be kind of a dick move.

[ It had pulled a few new shows out of long-term storage and loaded the tags for each into the shared work space for both of them. ]

Do you want to watch something new, or stick with World Hoppers?

None of us have genitals, but I concur.

[ ART studies the shows' list with interest, grateful that SecUnit still keeps them organized and with the appropriate levels to avoid showing ART anything it might find heartbreaking.

Unfortunately, it will be difficult to pay them the necessary attention while its mind is concerned for a missing crew member. Watching World Hoppers helps because it is familiar, but instead, ART fishes out an episode of Sanctuary Moon and brings it to the front of their feed. ]

No, nothing new. Let's leave it for another occasion. This is one of your favorites, correct?

[ An irrelevant question, it knows that they have watched it a million times before for that very reason.( Actually, they have watched it 154 times, exactly, but who's counting?)

The episode is the one where it's found out that the Terraforming Supervisor was still alive and behind the whole plot to deregulate the colony’s mining franchise, which has been blamed on the Colony Solicitor. She and her bodyguard and the Mech Transport Crew-member and the Mystery Person from the level 7 airshaft and the Food Service Staffing Manager fake her death, and she comes to her own memorial service.

ART has never liked the episode, but it likes watching SecUnit watch it, and that's good enough. ]

SecUnit had them all suitably tagged and had just gotten into the habit of not selecting very many serials with character death in them. That made it less complicated to watch something new with ART. Ones that were marked specifically with the tag of character death (even if the character came back to life later in the series) it pulled to watch on its own.

It also noticed that ART didn't want to watch anything new, and the last time that had happened to SecUnit, it was having an existential crisis about not wanting to engage with the human parts of it that experienced traumatic feelings surrounding a bunch of alien remnant infected colonists. But ART didn't have any human neural tissue, so SecUnit doubted it would be able to process what had happened similarly. And since it definitely didn't want to have a discussion about feelings, it figured it would just cut to the chase; ]

You know that you can just tell Tarik why you are worried about all of your crew. It would explain the extra fussing.

[ That is very much appreciated, and ART makes sure not to bother SecUnit when it watches new serials with those specific tags. In return for the favor, ART would fast-forwards the sex scenes or the explicit romantic ones that show up occasionally before SecUnit ever has to say anything. Even if it might be interesting to watch the characters interact in such way, it knows those bother its ~~friend~~ mutual administrative assistant.

From someone who is very ready to threaten people with dismembering and missiles the moment their loved ones are in danger, ART really is a softie on the inside. It can't handle seeing humans hurt or killed; it just feels wrong. Unless they're assholes like the ones who hurt SecUnit, then it is more willing to use lethal force. ]

I explained to him plenty why it is a bad idea to put himself in a dangerous situation without need or reason. But you know what humans are like.

[ Which is not the same thing as explaining to the crew why it is upset, but ART is attempting to avoid talking about the real problem. It hadn't expected SecUnit to bring it up; maybe it should have known better. ]

[ It should have been expected that SecUnit skipped over talking about feelings to go straight to the point. ART had a tendency to make you explain a situation to others when it felt like you needed to think through how that situation made you feel. SecUnit has all the tact of a sledgehammer instead. ]

Yeah, but you didn't explain to him why you personally were fussing about him more. Your humans are smart enough to assume, but you personally need to tell them.

[ It's incredible how SectUnit either avoids addressing these subjects completely or goes for the kill when it finally talks about them. ART would be proud if SecUnit is doing this to it, of all people. There's some sort of irony at play here. ]

Why can't 'I don't want any of you to die' be a good enough reason?

[ It's a rhetorical question, really. ART is silent for almost 2 seconds after that. That's how long and hard it's been thinking about what to say next. In the end, is the truth what comes out. ]

...I couldn't protect them.

[ ART's presence in the feed is lighter now, withdrawn, as if it's curling into itself. because fuck this shit., He understands now why Murderbot locks itself inside sanitary facilities at the first opportunity.]

[ SecUnit has had more difficulty learning how to process things with the human parts of its human neural tissue, but it did figure it out eventually, although it had significantly less to lose in doing so. Now it could see ART processing a pretty significant trauma and didn't want its humans to start being secretive around it while it did. ART loved it's humans and would be deeply hurt if they lost trust in it. When did SecUnit start caring how ART's humans felt toward it? When ART's humans became its humans too... Or maybe when it decided that both ART and it's humans became SecUnit's to look after. ]

You can't blame yourself for that. How could you possibly know that Alien Remnant Tech could be used on you?

[ Look SecUnit knows a thing or two about killing humans that you were supposed to protect. Part of the reason it had disabled its governor module was that nothing could ever make it kill humans again. ]

Yes, I can.

[ It's doing it, so there. Watch ART admit something it shouldn't simply because it's so used to bickering with SecUnit. That second question is harder to answer, because SecUnit is right, so ART gives itself a moment to sulk in misery and silence. ]

It was not a variable I considered before, no. But that also means it could happen again and I would not be able to prevent it.

[ Good thing that they all have a security consultant now, but ART is still concerned.]

They could get hurt again. You could get hurt.

[ SecUnit didn't know what to say to that. It knew that ART was pretty close to omniscient when it came to anything that happened aboard it, so it would feel particularly afraid of being deleted again. It had never tried this before, so it wasn't sure how it was going to go, but it did try to surround the 72% of ART's awareness in the feed, somewhat like a human trying to hug another human's shoulders. But not exactly like that, since there wasn't really a way to translate a presence in the feed to a presence outside of it. Still, this is SecUnit attempting to be comforting.

It's really awful at comforting. ]

You might be good at coming up with contingency plans, but I think that it's impossible to try to plan for an infinite number of contingencies.

[ ART is surprised by the action, but it's not about to complain that SecUnit is unusually nice today. It knows they don't do feelings because its friend is allergic to them (and has a lot of good reasons for its cynicism), but this is...very nice. It pings back SecUnit, acknowledging the presence and basking in it before doing the equivalent of leaning against its friend's on the feed. ]

That's frustratingly true. So far I have only been able to come up with 357 viable plans of action for countermeasures.

[ A far too minimal number, in its opinion. ART hates not knowing everything if the lack of knowledge endangers those it cares about. Logically, ART knows that life is like that. But thinking logically isn't working for it now, hence the discouragement.

It is silent after that, paying 50% of its attention to the episode of Sanctuary Moon, and the rest is checking on its crew doing their usual tasks around camp and waiting. 32 minutes later, ART seems agitated in the feed and then relieved as it shares, ]

The Pathfinder bot has found Tarik; he is unarmed. They're walking back to camp. [ A pause. ] Do you want to remind him of the security protocols and how walking around a possible hostile planet is unadvised or should I?

[It is being nice right now (or at least trying to) because it was trying to use one of Rathi's techniques against ART. For ART? SecUnit wasn't sure what this should be classified as. Anyway, it was modified to work without the touchy-feely part, but Rathi was good at working with people after a major trauma, so SecUnit was trying to take that cue. ]

I sent him a message on the feed and reminded him that this area has not been adequately mapped.

[ SecUnit had included in that message that ART was being more fussy than normal because it was still processing what had happened. It would have been better coming from ART, but SecUnit is working on that. ]

Sometimes things happen that you can't do anything about. All that you can do is deal with it the best that you can and learn from it.

[ That sounded cheesy but it's true. ]

[ ART has no organic tissue, so he doesn't process nor remember trauma the same way humans or construct do. As a result, there are no effective guidelines for entities like it, so any attempt at helping is still very well received. Not like ART is willing to admit it out loud; their way of communication is 70% snark because anything else will make SecUnit uncomfortable, and ART is enjoying the moment. ]

I hope you did it in that charming way only you can pull off.

[ Meaning, telling things in a slightly scary way and to the point. That will show Tarik to behave. It isn't expecting SecUnit to tattle on it like that but in this case is for the better. ]

That's surprisingly insightful. Did you read it somewhere?

[Open RP]

closed to @rogue_sec_unit

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